I understand all too well. I’ve learned to use my “inside voice” when I wanna crack a “dark” joke. I so fear hurting/offending someone.
At the company Christmas party last year, they did a present swap thing (clearly I did not participate). One girl got a box of hot sauces and without any irony, at all, she said: “Anyone wanna try my hot sauce?” She was dead serious.
Most people just ignored it and I looked around the room. I turned to my friend, “How is no one touching this?” He just stared straight ahead, “Don’t dude, just don’t.”
I didn’t but in my head? Oh yes, yes I did.
Humor is subjective and too often people are too easily hurt. A shame really.